The Haircut

Steve's Barber Shop (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There was an old Italian man… Louie, who owned the corner barber shop where
I grew up.  Louie was a good man, but never once gave me a haircut, leaving me
with the confidence, that I could wander out into the public without being ridiculed.
He was an expert at cutting hair, and he should have been, as he knew only one way
to cut hair… the infamous white-wall.  My Dad was a firm believer in the white-wall,
and since he was footing the bill…, well, enough said.  However, my Dad was a fair
man, he knew how much it bothered me getting those haircuts, so he would give me
a quarter to buy myself a soda at the corner liquor store while he got his haircut.  What
a deal!

Growing up in the 60’s,  it was easy to spot me, as I looked like a vizsla in the middle of a pack of saint bernards.  Finally, in my junior high school days, a new men’s “hair stylist” opened up just around the corner from Louie’s.  Cuts were about $8.00, so I couldn’t afford to go there, and,  reluctantly, wore that distinction until I was about 15 years old.  Then… I landed a job, small amounts of money started rolling in, and I was able to purchase my very first “styled” cut.  Now I fit in, I was “cool”!  I would even go so far as to say it improved my golf game.  🙂

Life was better now, I finished high school, went into the Air Force, and in basic training… let’s just say it was worse than the white-wall.  But it was alright, as everyone looked the same.  After serving in Germany, I went back home on leave to visit my parents.  Curiosity got the best of me, so I asked my Dad about Louie; how he was able to stay in business when he couldn’t cut hair?  My Dad laughed, and explained the whole thing…

He asked me if I remembered when he would take me to Louie’s, he would always give me a quarter, and tell me to go around the corner to the liquor store and buy myself a soda?  Of course I remembered… it was the only good thing about getting a “Louie” haircut.  He laughed again, and continued on.  Louie kept a bottle of “hootch” behind the cash register.  When I was on my way to the liquor store for soda, Louie and my Dad were on their way to a “buzz”.  By the time I got back, they had thrown down a couple, my Dad was just finishing up, and it was my turn.  By then, Louie couldn’t see straight.

All good things come to those who wait!!  Absolutely!!  A few days later, my Dad told me he was going to Louie’s for a cut.  YES!  The moment of revenge was upon him!  As soon as he cleared the back door, I was heading for my car with a bottle of bourbon, two shot glasses, and a $1.00 bill.  Seeing how I was on a mission, I arrived at Louie’s well in advance of my Dad, and took up hiding not 6 feet from Louie’s door.  As my Dad entered Louie’s, I pushed past him, gave the bottle and two shot glasses to Louie, gave the $1.00 to my Dad, and told him to go get a soda.  He was a good sport, and did so; I poured, and was able to put down two before Louie was able to get his first one under his belt.   I thought I’d killed old Louie… he was red in the face, and was laughing so hard, I thought he was going to have a heart attack!

That was the best haircut I almost ever had!